Tips for strengthening your child's self-esteem

As a teacher and sociologist, I have been surprised and increasingly convinced that self-esteem is the very foundation of good learning. By that I mean social, as well as, for example, academic or athletic learning. It is also necessary for improving self-confidence or self-belief.

Let's imagine two boys, of the same age and the same actual skills in football; Ola and Ali. Ola has low self-esteem and has been told at home that he is stupid and useless, so he has a negative self-image. Ali, on the other hand, has grown up in a safe home, where he has always heard and felt confident that he is loved and important, regardless of his performance.

Let's imagine that the two first-grade boys are trying to shoot the football into the crossbar. Both are lousy and miss all the time. The difference is that Ola gives up after trying 30 times. What do you think his “inner voice” is telling himself? Ali, on the other hand, tries fifty times before he finally hits the crossbar. What do you think he is telling himself?

This is further reinforced; when the football coach asks who should be on the football club's team, Ola says no and Ali says yes. Ali learns a lot more than football at football training. He learns to wait his turn, team spirit, cooperation, taking orders and tolerating resistance. This increases skills and self-confidence in sports, as well as social ones.

Already here we can sense the beginning of a great inequality in spirals for the two boys; who initially had similar (lack of?) football skills. The sad thing is that the same easily happens in most other areas of life. As a leader in child welfare, I have seen the tragic long-term consequences of extremely low self-esteem up close.

My top strategies for boosting your child's self-esteem

1. *Celebrate achievements, big and small:* Recognize and celebrate your child's achievements, whether it's good grades or mastering a new skill, to boost their self-confidence.

2. *Give unconditional love and support:* Show your child that you love and accept them no matter what, and be their biggest cheerleader, regardless of successes or failures.

3. *Encourage positive self-talk:* Teach your child to replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations to strengthen their self-belief. Practice distinguishing between what actually happened vs. their own interpretations, preferably from a victim perspective.

4. *Create a safe and supportive environment:* Facilitate open communication and validation of your child's feelings and experiences to promote self-esteem.

5. *Set realistic goals:* Help your child set achievable goals and work towards them in small steps to build self-confidence.

6. *Teach problem-solving skills:* Encourage your child to solve problems independently and find solutions to build self-confidence.

7. *Promote a growth mindset:* Encourage your child to embrace challenges and see mistakes as opportunities for growth. Let your child experience natural consequences and practice tolerating resistance.

8. *Give praise and encouragement:* Give genuine praise and encouragement to boost your child's self-esteem, focus on their efforts and progress.

By following these strategies and providing your child with support, you can help them develop a strong sense of self that will benefit them throughout their lives.